your sins are not my style: HEART IN A CAGE

FREAKS OF HOLLAND

FREAK ONE-

CODENAME: BFF

Not so much a freak, as an irritant. She's everyone else's BFF cos she sure isn't *chope* yours. She goes around asking people if they're straight. And if you happen to be unsure, then its ggnore. I've met guys who like anyone with a cheeb, but she takes this to a whole new level. When we see her, we disappear into our individual shops and suddenly stock holds intense fascination. Plus she wears purple tanks with white shorts and silver sparkly spangly belts. WHUUUT?

FREAK TWO-

CODENAME: BIG GH3Y MAN

His opinions and coughing smokers laugh can often be heard booming from the vicinity of the hawker centre. Not only does he make crazy inappropriate remarks about angmoh fathers, sons in hand and all ("FILF! FILF! God, look at that ass. He's going to make my eyes roll back sooner or later"), he also texts people he's just met frankly nauseating statements and questions like "When was the last time you cum" and "Have you got a good hot source of protein for me". Now, I don't know about you but that is a freak to me.

FREAK THREE-

CODENAME: CANDY

Candy is a true blue freak, through and through. S/he makes all freaks before this, seem like non-entities. Or non-freaks, whichever is better. When s/he started prowling Holland, we were quite curious frankly of which gender s/he identified with. My ingenious plan backfired when we asked him whether he served NS and he replied in the positive -insert cheer for all holland folk- and he then proceeded to bore us for half an hour about "the best 2 years" of his life as a clerk.

On one rare occasion when I was completely by myself manning the shop and was crazy tired from the night before he interrupted my reverie by doing me "a favour" by sitting down and killing me slowly with his ramblings (I swear you've never met a rambler till you've met him). In that one hour, he told me about his washing machine, haagen daz ice cream cakes, a comic book character called Birdman, how everyone hates him, how his bosses always fire him, how his mother cut off his internet, how his family disrespects him, how his 19 year old sister is hopeless because she comes home after 12am and how it's "no point" talking to her. At the topic of his sister, I got increasingly agitated because I got tired of his self-pity. I told him off rather nastily by saying that if he refused to try to get educated (he's 25 with N levels) and that if he kept saying it was "no point" to go find some work cos he would only get fired and it was "no point" standing up to his younger sister then he was better off not living at all.

As testament to his freakishness, I was actually glad when BFF interrupted our tet-a-tet.

Here are the very few photos I took of the very few outings I bothered to take my camera out for. Pleasepleaseplease don't msn/meet/text me and complain abt the number of photos. Next week I promise a big picture intensive post of all my birthday celebrations. :))

Come down to Holland hawker on tuesday for charades and beer, on me.

That's as big a party I'm willing to throw.